What did you teach?

Aging Ain't Easy

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and
thinking, "Surely I can't look that old." Well, you'll love this one.

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my
first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma,
which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the
same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way
too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I
asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat,
gray-haired, decrepit guy asked, "What did you teach?"

"Circumcised"

For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just
love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often
taken literally.....

"Circumcised" (this is priceless!)
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his
desk with his "private part" hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out
till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school

Joke of the Day!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

Do you know me?

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,"My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,"No, I'm your son's teacher."