Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!


Lindystar said...

OH good lord that was hillarious, your poor Dad. Hope everything goes ok for ya.

Titania Starlight said...

That was a good one. He is right to ask dad when to come home. He most likely is going to get a major whoopin!

Andrew said...

I was about to comment about this post being inapropite and not funny, then I read the last bit. My face just went into a beaming smile.

That's really was funny, and useful. May have to use that if I ever get a bad grade. (lets hope that never happens)

Taylor_Blue said...

I was on the same page as andrew I was going to say what is wrong with tattoo's?? But then I read the last part...if I ever get a letter like that from my son...I will kill him!