Thanksgiving divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you
that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand
the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each
Other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are
NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then,don'tdo a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

YES! YES! I WON, I WON!

Two bored, heterosexual-male casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.

A very attractive blonde woman from Texas arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
;
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Moral - Not all Texans are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.